Doubt and Thomas

[Our lessons were Acts 4:32-35; Psalm 133; 1 John 1:1-2:2; and John 20:19-31.]

During one of the tax protests this week, a woman was seen holding a sign which read, “My God, My Money, My Guns”. I suspect she is certain that our country is departing from the true path of capitalism and that capitalism of course is God’s will.

I wonder how she would square that with the words we just heard from Acts: “... no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common.” The believers sold their homes and land and gave the proceeds to the apostles who distributed the funds so that there “was not a needy person among them.”

Compare that practice of the early Church to the assertions that those who are in dire straits are “losers” who are in trouble solely because of their own irresponsibility with the clear implication that those who have do not have any obligation towards those who do not have. We obviously can’t say that there is not a needy person among us in this country!

While we want certainty in our lives, we must be careful not to confuse doubt—the lack of certainty—with disbelief. And that brings us to the familiar story of St. Thomas.

We really don’t know that much about St. Thomas. What most of us think we know is from this familiar story in St. John’s Gospel. But, on other occasions, Thomas showed that he was committed to Jesus. He was been willing to face death for Jesus when the other disciples were afraid. But the events of Good Friday were too much for him. Can we blame him?

We don’t know where Thomas went, but we know he was not with the other disciples on the evening of the first Easter, when the risen Lord first appeared to them. He missed it! So, when the disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord,” it was too much for him to believe and he demanded proof. This resurrection story was too good to be true.

Thomas had separated himself from the other disciples and missed Jesus’ appearance. Christ appears to us most within the community of believers—the Church—and when we separate ourselves from the Church, we risk missing him.

We can all identify with Thomas. Thomas is a lot like us—wanting to believe, but not able to make that leap of faith without help.

Jesus did not blame Thomas for his doubt. Jesus again appears to the disciples, including Thomas, and gently said, “Do not doubt but believe,” and Thomas responded, “My Lord and my God!” This was the first time Jesus was named as God, not exactly a minor event!

Faith is not the absence of doubt; it is the overcoming of doubt. We all doubt at times—when the pain of loss is too deep, when evil seems to triumph for a day—and we will do so again. To err may be human, but to doubt certainly is.

This reading speaks directly to us. Jesus said, “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Scholars believe that John’s Gospel was written later than the other Gospels, possibly as late as 90 or 100. By that time, everyone was one of “those who have not seen.” They needed to be told that those who had not physically seen Jesus are blessed as well.

We often call Thomas “Doubting Thomas” and we don’t mean it in a good way. We seem to believe that it is wrong to doubt. But doubting is a natural part of the human nature that God gave us and it is nothing to be ashamed of.

One of my favorite literary characters, Anthony Trollope’s Duke of Omnium, put it this way when consoling a friend who had been wrongly charged with murder. He said, “I no more believed you could have done that than could I. But I am human and fallible and I could not eliminate doubt.” Even when we say we are “sure”, we can’t escape doubt. And when we doubt, we can look to Thomas’ example. He can give us the courage to face our doubts.

God does not require or expect or even want us to be free of doubt. He calls us to face our doubts, honestly and openly. We need to have courage and wisdom to deal with our doubts, not accept a false idea that doubting itself is wrong. We need this inner-directed kind of doubt that makes us aware of our own limitations and keeps us on the path of discovery—on our journey of faith in Christ.

When we have doubts and we struggle to believe, we should think of Thomas. He shows us that doubt need not destroy faith. “Love can survive in darkness, unveiling in the gloom the presence of the risen Lord.” And when that happens, we can only hope to respond as he did, “My Lord and My God.”

Those of us in our time as ones who haven’t had the opportunity to be eyewitnesses to the Resurrection have the testimony of the eyewitnesses, which was passed on to other believers and to the next generation, until it is here with us today. It is our faith now that believes because of their testimony and the lives of the faithful over the centuries.

[My thanks to the Rev. Canon Daniel J. Webster of New York and the Daily Episcopalian web site for the story on the tax protests.]